My name is Amber Juelle. A name that derives from my Grandmother. I am 24 years old and the founder of WakeCreateWatermelon. When people used to ask me “what it is that I did or do” I would always feel anxious. I would feel this anxiety because it wasn’t your typical job title with a Webster Dictionary definition that’s easily understood. I am creating the life it is that I want to live while creating peace within. No matter how big or small, everyday I choose to create.
WakeCreateWatermelon is a lifestyle brand/platform I created for expression and healing. Growing up in this generation and specifically this time, having feelings seems like a forbidden thing to do, so venturing down the path of being “Vulnerable AF Publicly” was extremely daunting in the beginning. As women we are told to mask our feelings and emotions. We’re told that there is no place or time for it. That we have to work twice as hard as the man next to us and if you’re a woman of color even harder as the white woman that’s standing next to him. But what I’m here to tell you is that love, YES LOVE, is all that is real; and that collaboration defies competition any day.
I love Oprah. Like love- love- love! I love how timeless she is. I feel like when she is speaking she is talking directly to me. Growing up I always knew how important Oprah was to society and to women, especially black women. But, it wasn’t until recently that I was able to have my own perspective and experience as to why she is important to me. On my journey of awareness and enlightenment Oprah was and is one of the few people I look to for wisdom, love and encouragement. It’s very comforting to know that someone who LOOKS like you can CREATE such spaces and opportunities not only for themselves but for so many others as well.
I also adore me some Erykah Badu. My Pisces sister! Growing up I would hear my mom and aunt play her music throughout the house on the weekends or during car rides. She is one who is truly connected to the source as far as being a woman and a spiritual being. I believe even as little girls following our mothers around we too felt connected to her music because of that. We could not always interpret the messages that she was singing of but the shared DNA allowed her music to still vibrate in us. I’ve sung the song “Bag Lady” many times before but it was not until a couple of days ago that I actually GOT what that song represented. That I too had been a “Bag Lady” at one point of my life.
WAKECREATEWATERMELON was created during a time where I felt extremely lost, confused and suffocated. I had just graduated college and in a sense everything I knew was changing and making me uncomfortable. I created WAKECREATEWATERMELON for my survival. For my peace and for my heart. Being a woman, and a black woman at that, you deal with a lot of sh*t. There was a time in my life where I questioned everything about myself. My hair, my skin, my body, my worth. I just wanted to create through it ,create out of it! So I started to write! I started to put myself in spaces where others were doing the same.
I began to pick back up everything I loved doing as a little girl. This was the process of pouring into myself, something I was not aware that I was doing. Over time I began to see that by pouring into myself I was becoming full from within and by consistently doing that I began to overflow and pour into others.
When I create, express or share I am not doing so for any outside praise or approval. I am doing so to simply breath. I am doing it for my sanity. For my survival. So you can imagine how taken aback I am when strangers, family and even friends tell me that what I’m doing (even when I’m not 100% sure what “it” is all the time) is helping and inspiring them in some capacity.
“I’m not saying I’m going to change the world, but I guarantee I will spark the brain that will change the world” – Tupac
That is one of my favorite quotes and that is how I look at what I do. To me, that is the bigger picture. With one person at a time we can light the road back to love and purpose for us all. My goal is to shift the soil of the seeds planted within us all. I strive to do this with creating experiences, spaces and conversations that inspires and uplifts. That ignites true embracements of love and understanding of true self.
As young girls and women we sometimes find ourselves in rooms where we are outnumbered. I remember being 10 years old and playing basketball at the city’s local sports plant. I was the only girl on the team and eventually I stopped going. I didn’t want to deal with trying to prove myself and fight for a chance,for a shot. I remember developing insecurities. I remember shying away from opportunities. I remember not speaking up. I vividly remember all these things. Looking back, I think about how those experiences not only could have derailed me from my purpose but also could have prevented me from loving life if I allowed it. Now, almost 15 years later, I am seeing that where there is no representation there is an opportunity to become the representative.
When I was asked to speak on Womanhood and what it means to me I felt like it was going to be a challenge. It wasn’t until Fall of 2017 that I finally realized I was not taking advantage of my womanhood membership at all. I honestly did not understand or was even aware of what beauty and magic could manifest from such a connection. I knew that I was selling myself short and that I was going to fix that. I made a promise to myself that I would get more in tune with my feminine energy that I would tap into everything that is within me. So, I started creating one-on-one sessions with myself.
Even though doubt and fear has tried to set in, stepping into my womanhood has been one of the most liberating decisions of my life. It is such a beautiful experience especially when you allow yourself to be embraced by its love and strength. I am unlearning and re-learning so many layers of what being a woman means to myself and fellow sisters. I am learning that my greatest moments of joy and peace comes from my vulnerability,which I am finding is one of my greatest strengths. When I allow myself to feel, express and nurture who I am freely I am creating the space and energy for other women to do so as well.
I think my most current experience in regard to womanhood is the conversations being held. I find myself in rooms where the dialogue is revealing and healing. Where warm eye-contact speaks “me too sis” and roaring laughter symbolizes “Yass girl!”. Now, on an even more personal note, the most profound experience happened when I stopped being so hard on myself and started embracing my insecurities as an opportunity to exercise self-love.
If given the blessing to raise a daughter I will tell her to always remember to breath. With breathing comes clarity, life and creativity. The creativity to create faith out of fear, light within darkness, love out of faith and ultimately the life that you want to live. She, like I and all the women before her, possess a magic and ability like no other. I pray that when the time does come for me to nurture a young queen… I am as whole as I can be for her. That I am able to show her first hand what womanhood means to me,so that one day it will ignite an understanding of her own.
My name is Amber Juelle.
A name deriving from my grandmother.
When people ask me what it is that I do I tell them I am a creator.
Born in the image of God herself.
A truth written by Amber Juelle.