Pushing Through April

Can y’all believe that it’s the first week of April… I mean every time I glance at my calendar I find myself pressed trying to figure it out… *scratches head and wishes that I personally knew someone on “sway in the morning” so I could ask 

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I find myself having to keep a little reminder of the date because somehow I want to believe that there’s 30 something odd days in March! I guess I’m not prepared to actually face that here we are, yet another month into 2018. The 4th to be exact…

Now I’m not sure if that’s a scary fact for anyone else but for me it’s TERRIFYING because it’s just another reminder that time waits for no one and I’m scared of losing time —which is terrible fear to have because if anything is out of our control time for sure is.

However, in agreement to the revelation of this new-found fear that I have brewing inside and in attempts to rectify the situation by elevating higher I have made a few decisions. Decisions that will hopefully realign my perspective as a result of me choosing to implement some changes to my lifestyle. YES, I’m going to be practicing some lifestyle changes to help me stay cautious of how I allow “time” to place a demand on my life. And yes, I said “some lifestyle changes” which means discipline will be in order this month.

So to list the few that I’ve decided to pursue:

  1. ACTIVATING MY PRAYER CLOSET: A lot of my worries stem from my lack of prayer. While I’d like to believe that I pray a lot… you can never pray enough and I, personally need to up my intake of conversations with Father God. I’ve noticed that I have this terrible habit of praying and picking up my same concerns, issues etc. and blabbing to all my kin folks (especially my parents) about them.

 XXX that’s a no-no! This month I will be intentional on keeping my conversations with God on a A&B basis (C-ing all other parties out). And where I spoke of discipline in the paragraph above, this new change will be a prime example of such because I already know that this will definitely be difficult for me. Those that personally know me can attest that I am an extremely transparent person and I always have been. Yet somehow, someway I will make do with keeping some thangs’ tucked because as I’m growing—I’m learning that some aspects must stay private in order to sustain.

 

“But when you pray go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen. Then your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”- Matthew 6:6  This is my motivation for this change.

  1.  TIGHTENING MY BUDGET: Y’all in the spirit of transparency (see I couldn’t even last a paragraph L O L) adulthood is hemming ya girl up by the seams. Bills are adding (as they will) and you already know with that comes stress… but I’m believing Father God for some BIG ADVANCEMENTS which means that I need to show that I’m a good steward of my finances. You cannot ask for more while you struggle to proficiently handle what you have… (I mean, technically you can because truth be told many of us do, but as for me-myself I want to become a better steward of what I have. I want God to see that I’m working out what he’s already given for the best possible outcome). So, yes prioritizing my spending and becoming more financially responsible is going to be a HUGE focus of mine this month.
  1. HEALTH IS WEALTH –  And I can’t stand to be broke any longer: It’s gym time! It’s nutrition time! It’s spring cleaning for my head space-time! IT’S ALL DAT & ABOVE TIME!!! I work a lot which sadly for me means that I neglect A  LOT of essentials to my personal health. Essentials such as eating healthy and keeping up a good workout regime. I often use the excuse that I’m too tired to cook something/meal prep or go to the gym and truth is that is a lie from you know where (and if you didn’t well here it is …the pit of HELL). It’s a lie to keep me tired, bloated and unmotivated. Now, this isn’t necessarily about body image as it is more so mental and emotional stability.

  I’ll admit that although Instagram models often make me want to change my mind about my appearance daily (y’all are just too fine for me to keep up with these days) I am very satisfied with where my weight is right now. However, mentally and emotionally I am not at my best because I am not my healthiest. I know what a difference nutrition and exercise as well as rest can make in those areas, so for my sake I need to be more consciousness and intentional!

So, yes here are some intentions that I have for the month. Again, I can’t promise the daily success rate of each but I do believe that with enough discipline these practices will become a lifestyle for me.

ALSO, and most importantly I’m hoping that each of these practices will help me conquer my angst for time because instead of focusing on what I cannot control and inevitably will lose, I will maximize my energies towards what I can skillfully improve. This month as I utilize these three aspects to better deal with my need to “rush” my life, I’m hoping to gain patience and clarity as I sacrifice my comfort to better enhance what I’m lacking.

OVERALL I’m JUST hoping to push through all of my emotional and mental stress to reap the MAJOR GAINS that I know I deserve. I hope you’ll do the same as you see fit!

 

OUP.. I almost forgot my PSA:  For those who follow me on Instagram and know that I was trying to reach 500 views for the month of March. I think that it’s only fair that I update you that as of last Thursday I reached 586… however I never checked again to see what the total outcome for the month was and I’m not sure if and when I will.

I am appreciative of all the views, believe me when I say that “ the support I’ve received thus far means the WORLD to me” it means just that. But truth is,  I’m already extremely ambitious and I felt myself allowing those numbers to place an unnecessary pressure on my life that I just don’t need. I’ve been working towards this for a little while now because I am passionate about the sharing of truths through words and written encounters and that is what I want to always keep in the forefront. I can’t let a little glimpse of accomplishment cause me to fold and miss out on what is constant.

So again, THANK YOU for all of the support… each of your views are causing my vision of BW to come to life more and more and for that ALONE I’m always indebted to show my gratitude to Father God and each of those who genuinely support.

Okay… now I’m officially signing off

With the warmest of warmth,

BW.

 

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