“And if at first you don’t succeed
Then dust yourself off and try again
You can dust it off and try again, try again
Cause if at first you don’t succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again (and again)”
Word to baby girl herself, the great Aaliyah Haughton and Timb for the beat because honey, this bass line sounds like a homecoming theme song to me right about now.
It’s been a LONG TIME COMING, a LONG DARK TIME but I’m here! Five months ago, I logged into this platform and dropped an article entitled “MOTIV8 Yourself Into A Healthy Mental Space” and briefly after publishing I lost all my sh**.
I’m talking EVERYTHING… up into flames!
Encouraging words, how, sway?
Fire, please… it’s the arctic in this creative space of mine.
It all went to flames! After the success of “Salute To The Ovaries & Uteri Only” a tribute to Women’s History Month I felt like I had to compete. Imagine that, competing on my own platform… the very thing I birthed! As many of us tend to do I subconsciously downplayed my abilities and retreated.
One missed beat turned into five months worth of crickets, and although I’m not proud of my absence, I’m grateful.
Because, as I said before “everything…. up into flames” meaning “everything” was submitted to the Lord for a time of purification.
Can I hop into my pulpit for a minute now! Listen my intentions when creating this platform were pure. Back in January my focus was not to become distraught over views! My goal was to solely take a chance on my gift and create a space in which I could 100 % create content that was true to my spirit. I started to brand the platform on social media out of love and pride for my work. .
After getting a few views, I started to feel overwhelmed with gratitude as well as immense pressure. I felt pressured to compete when in fact, God gave me this gift to uplift rather than utilize as a measuring rod for success.
Are y’all still following?
My eyes were no longer set on the joy that was before me, the joy of just being and transparently growing. As a result ya girl had to go BLACK (meaning I haven’t creatively touched this site in 5 months).
However, the lessons I’ve learned are ones that I hope to soon share as I believe that they will both serve me and all of you well!
The first and most important truth I’ve discovered is that it’s best to keep your intentions simple and pure. Assess as needed and check yourself when you notice that your intentions are becoming unbalanced. My intentions are now as simple (not to be confused with being easy to obtain… anything pure is hard to gain. KNOW THAT!) as they come.
My sole aim is to please God and allow the opinions of people to fall as they will. So many of us internalize likes and retweets as if those stamps of approval validate our essence. And I know it’s common to act “woke” to the snares of social media, but hear me when I say this ownership of a platform life gets tricky… fairly fast.
It’s a slippery slope because at the end of the day, a standing ovation feels good. Acceptance is important and crucial in many circumstances. However, approval can be fleeting as I wrote on Instagram “ it’s all about traction these days and it’s HARD to keep people’s attention let alone their affection. ”
This is a problem for the ever-famished ego, which is why I stress keeping your intentions simple and pure. Aim to please God with your craft, do your best with the gifts and talents he’s given and allow the affirmations of others to fall into perspective. Save yourself the time and drama!
Also, keep in mind that you have time! Your destiny is signed and sealed AND YOU CAN REST ASSURE THAT IF IT’S DESTINY IT WILL DELIVER! I have to remind myself daily that if God is on my side, most certainly time will follow!
For those who may be in a dark space, please remember that the fire is here to purify, as the darkness is here to give way to the light! The process feels terrible (ain’t no way to finesse the truth). It’s gruesome and you may find yourself doubting your path all throughout the journey. YET, remember that pressure makes diamonds, just as fire produces gold.
The result is worth the hiatus. A clear mind and pure heart is worth both the work and wait.
So bear through as you’re counting it all joy!
And gang…. it feels good to be back.