dear and not deer was birthed from an underlying truth that I had ignored all along… I guess this what makes it underlying right? Well, a truth that I hadn’t quite noticed and which have yet to discovered it’s full purpose and the magnitude it holds, (which is often what happens when pure things are birthed).
A truth that I’ve been brewing for what’s approaching 16 years now, a truth that is simple.
And simply this, that we do not know the path in which our steps are ordered, but solely the plans that are hidden within our hearts.
Now in plain text: We can plan many things, but how and when they come to past isn’t often our call. Our steps are ordered, and the chronology of such isn’t ours to worry about.
Yet we do! It’s in our human nature to. It’s effortless, I mean with use of little consciousness we put our hands in every area of our lives trying to control our destiny as if we aren’t aware that it’s of divinity/divine in the first place. Goals and plans with deadlines in which we set, are often our end-marker instead of finishing a day’s journey and completing such feeling simply grateful just to have traveled
It’s hard but it isn’t! I mean really… the idea of travelling light isn’t so much about denying the existence of items but knowing how to value each for it’s worth. It’s not so much prioritizing so that you can lead a “lighter” life free of any worries, but rather knowing where to place them. Learning how to acknowledge them for their purpose and by doing so gaining the appropriate means to evolve forward, having experienced such.
Again, it isn’t about ridding the burden but more so learning the power of releasing… and there’s a difference.
For almost 7 years, I’ve written letters (some typed and others hand-written). Letters, to a husband that I do not yet have, a man who I do not physically see yet I believe to be the Christ, and a woman who I do not know but hope to become (myself, in purer and more aware version and magnitude). Not ritualistic but very much so, in a practical and very authentic manner (because none of this was planned) I’ve found myself writing to these 3 individuals (the recipient depending on the subject manner) when I’ve felt: lonely, excited, confused, disappointed, filled to the brim by the overwhelming sense of clarity, dark, inspired, burdensome, invincible, big and small, lofty and realistic… and all of the above for in every state (and I do mean every both sober and somber, and sometimes intoxicated and idle) I’ve written to them placing whatever the sense was down on paper and in the notes app in my phone.
Because I needed someone to receive my voice. I needed my vulnerability and most honest jurisdiction to have a place to settle, a residence beyond myself. I needed a record of my truth one that could physically connect the dots and prove that there’s a sense of magic that happens when we connect our faith, our pain, our love, our losses and triumphs with something/perhaps someone outside ourselves. Now, on assumption I can guess what you’re probably thinking! Bri’on you writing to an anonymous husband at 14, is extreme and just unrealistic. You’re writing letters that’ll never be sent. talk about.complete vanity.
And to each its own, but I must admit that for every letter I’ve written to such an anonymous man I’ve felt a flame of hope for him ignite alive within my heart. For each note written to Jesus, I felt a gentle yet strong reminder of his presence, his love, our bond and what such represents; and lastly as a result of each line I’ve typed for that woman, I’ve reckoned that I’m one step closer to becoming her.
Perhaps, it isn’t vanity at all because by sustaining hope I’m making strides and experiencing gains, regardless of the physical manifestation. Because to “see” it, is to “believe” it and to believe it is to activate faith, the kind that will put in the work to produce the manifestation of the very product that was hoped for.
So, what aren’t you identifying? What fruit are you waiting to bear? What burden are you fearful to find rest with? What step of faith are you almost willing to take, but maybe you’re not quite there.
What would you address if you could? I mean if you really could…. like truly could by being your most vulnerable and honest self, what issues would you tackle? What ideas would you share?
If you could complete the sentence dear “___________________”, and fill in the blank to who and what would you write for and about?
Now, if you did answer that naturally by simply reading that last sentence I’d like to welcome you (and if you didn’t my welcome still remains because either way in this moment I have you thinking of possibilities)
Consider this your official initiation to dear”________________”